I’m just looking for a girl with thighs so thick that I occasionally die while going down on her.
I only act like a jerk to make myself look bad so you look better in comparison. I’m doing you a favor.
If a guy asks you to let him “just put the tip in to see how good it feels” tell him to stop being such a wimp and slam all of it into you. After he does that and looks to you for approval with a smug smile on his face, tell him again that you wanted all of his boner up in your guts, not just his little acorn tip. He will feel sad and incapable because he gave it his best shot and you showed him how weak and boring his wiener is. Maybe he’ll finally shut up now.
Your red lipstick perfectly matches your braces, bad posture, and lack of interesting things to say.